In the past six months life has changed dramatically for me.  I went through some relationship trouble with the love of my life for the past 19 years and have been dealing with some health issues for the past month. 

On the flip side I started a new job at the end of July, I found my passion again for coaching the sport that I love and happy to say that the love was rekindled in ‘our’, not my, relationship.  Life is on an upswing which is a breathe of fresh air since it seems that I had lost everything, including myself for the past two years. 

On to blogging again!

I am four games into my season and have been faced with the most egotistical, disrespectful male coaches.  Game number one, vs CFJ (Vince); after his team defeated us 2-1, he proceeded to take pot shots at me with ridiculous comments.  Not only after the game but during the game as well.  A few years back he called me a “cheerleader” because I was encouraging my team (incidently we beat his team 3-2 and five of his players eventually changed clubs and came over to my team).  I can see where he’d feel spiteful but to make comments about my weight after the game in front of 9 year old girls is absolutely uncalled for.

Game number two, “G” SC (Nick), after the game, which we lost 5-1 we went through the line to ‘shake hands’; apparently I didn’t have a man enough handshake for him so he called me classeless.  Then he proceeded to yell between the two teams that my club wasn’t fond of me because of our web site.  Seriously, our web site, because as far as coaching goes my name was only under one team.   REALLY?  Who stalks out another coach on their clubs web site to have some ‘ammunition’ to make ridiculous comments.

Here is the thing, both coaches won their games and both coaches had something negative to say to me after the game.  Both of them decided to make their comments in front of the players.  Listen, I don’t care what kind of dislike you have for me but to show disrespect for another (female) coach is pretty sad.  Nick actually acted like he was a ten year old girl so he could get a rise out of me and his own players, that is so sad. What’s even worse is that I let him press my buttons, shame on me.    I have had problems in the past with one of his players and their parent threatening one of my players in the fall…they were 9 years old!!!!

Sadly I sent an email to our league in which we play in about the disrespect and verbal abuse I have taken from these two coaches, you know what their response was?  Nothing, I haven’t heard back and it’s been over two weeks.  

To the two coaches who decided that showing some disrespect was part of the game I feel sorry for you, getting joy out of demeaning another coach during a U10 game is pretty pathetic, they are only 9 years old — having fun is part of the game, being a role model is part of the game, teaching them life lessons is part of the game; showing them what you did toward another coach was not part of any game I know.   Perhaps it’s time they get a grip on reality and realize that they aren’t much better than anyone else, winning games doesn’t make you a better coach than someone else.  It’ll be interesting to see how long those coaches can retain players – eventually they will both lose respect of their players because these girls aren’t old enough to recognize what their coaches are doing.  Just take Vince for example, at least 6 of his players got sick of him and realized who he really was and left; to come play for me.

As everyone knows, I coach, I have been coaching since July 1999 and I have loved almost every minute of it, except until this past week.   I have, excuse me, “had”, this team since they were U9, they are now U16 and are a tremendous group of young athletes (and students).  Unfortunately three determined parents, with nothing better to do than bleed control ruined the great chemistry and bond that we shared as a team.   I also coached another team, U15, all the teams are girls by the way; that team I was emotionally being drained of, too much drama, a parent texting me from the stands asking me if I was trying to lose a game because I had a player in a position in which she didn’t think she belonged.  That takes quite a pair to do that if you ask me.  The girls weren’t getting along, there was so much drama; one group wanted to work hard, the other group treated it as park district soccer.  Needless to say while I tried my best to make things right, the parents weren’t happy that I took time out of practice to speak to the girls about “team”, they called our high school director and wanted me replaced immediately.  How dare I try to get the girls to come together as a team, how dare I encourage the girls to do better, how dare I ask the girls to communicate with me and leave their parents out of it.  Oh well, what’s done is done – I wish some of the girls the best but I have a feeling this team is doomed. 

Now since the turmoil on one team, the other team got wind of it, because soccer moms have nothing better to do than sit around and gossip about what’s going on with their team.  So they find out the drama on one team and oh dear lord, we need another coach, excuse me, a “fresh perspective” for the other team.  Ah yes, the drama doesn’t get any better than this folks.  So in one day I lost two teams because parents don’t have control and want it so badly.  I put 7 years of hard work into the U16 group, brought them from a “C” level team to a team that was ranked #8 in the state.  Not too bad if I say so myself, but that’s not good enough.  One parent said they were going into their “golden year” of soccer, I am assuming that he refers to the girls getting recruited for college.  Yes sir, you are correct I have trained them all these years to prepare them for college and now you want to give me the boot…ok.

Unfortunately this team will never get another coach, so long as they are with the club they are with, who will care and dedicate their time to them.  They will not put in the effort and they surely won’t care about the players as much as I have.  But that’s ok, these parents and players wanted this, they are going to get what they want.  I hope they are happy with their decision because in the long run I assure you they won’t be.  They will have more complaints and will never be happy — what a shame for these girls.

Parents, when you join any sort of club you give your trust and permission for the people in charge to do their job.  If you want control over what happens then perhaps you should start your own group or club and stop interferring with those who are in charge.  When you do what you have done you show that you don’t care about anyone but yourself despite the fact that someone actually cared about your kid. Unfortunately the next one in charge won’t be so caring.  There is no loyality to you or your daughter, I don’t care how long you have been with the club.   I no longer have any loyality to you either.

I walk away from this team with my head held high, knowning I did everything and anything I could for this team despite the back stabbing from a few parents.  I continued to keep their daughters on the team, despite the trouble they were making because I believed in their daughter(s). Unfortunately for a few players no one else believes in them; they will sadly find out soon enough.

Haiti, more American companies helping out the tragedy then they are willing to help their own country

and

Customer Service, Hinckley Springs and other companies have it all wrong

and

When players threaten others; what is the course of action?

My first encounter with this disease came when I was only 19 and one of my closest friends was struck with non-hodgkins lymphoma – back then at that age you didn’t think too much about it, we hung out and made jokes here and there while she was going through her treatment.   She got married and had a son, unfortunately she was struck again with cancer, she went through her rounds of chemo and radiation only to be again with cancer invading two parts of her (lungs and her brain), I am glad to have found out that the tumor in her brain is gone but the ones in her lungs have doubled making it harder for her to breathe.   Over the years we have grown far apart, our lives taking us in different directions but there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about her and wish there is more I could do for her; but this isn’t about me and what I can do for her.  She has a very loving family and friends who offer her a great support system.  She is the strongest person I know to be going through almost 16 years of cancer.  My thoughts and prayers continue to be with her each and every day, she is a fighter, she is strong, she will survive.

My brothers fiance’, her dad passed away five years ago from a long battle with lung cancer.  He was full of life and loved the Eagles and sometimes the Bears.  His life ended watching the last episode of Sopranos in his favorite chair.  We gathered around the following spring to plant a tree in his honor. 

In early March 2008 - my aunt was diagnosed with endometrian cancer, she was in stage 3.  She quickly had her surgery and agressive rounds of chemotherapy and radiation. I talked to her weekly to see how she was feeling and how her treatment was going, that is when I received my list of medical history from her side of the family.  Both my aunt and my mom have had reproductive cancer (cells).  My mom had a partial hysterectomy when she was 40,  while my aunt removed the entire uterus.   My aunt is now 1 year and 2 months cancer free, she is giving back to cancer patients by knitting hats for cancer patients, she is also devoting her time at hospitals for cancer patients.

In mid August 2009, one of my 14 year old players was diagnosed with lymphoma.  While at practice she was complaining of feeling sick, like she had a cold and that it was hard for her to run because she couldn’t breathe, this was on a Tuesday, the same day her dad was having a tumor removed from his shoulder, on Thursday the family found out that she had cancer.  She started an agressive treatment of chemotherapy and radiation.  Our team pulled together and scheduled out dinners for two weeks for the family, even my older girls put together a basket for her.  She is now cancer free and making her way back to the playing field. Unfortunately the treatments she had attacked her ankles and knees so it’s very difficult for her to run but I play her about 5 minutes because that is what she wants.  We are working on building up her strength in her legs again so she can play more.  The longest road for her will be her stamina, she knows that and is not pushing it and taking her time.   She is a great kid who owes a lot of her positive engery to her doctor.   She is the strongest 14 year old kid that I know; who fought her way through an aggressive treatment.  While she is only two weeks cancer free she will remain strong.

This past Tuesday (Dec 2009) I found out that a mom of one my younger teams, who is 9 years old, has breast cancer.  She has her surgery next Tuesday but will not yet know if she has to face chemotherapy or radiation yet.  Her nine year old daughter knows what her mother is going through but seems to be taking it well at the moment.  I am sure it will hit her when she sees  her mom in the hospital.

I send out a long lengthy list of thoughts and prayers to these families and to all the families that are facing some sort of cancer in their family or with their friends.

Cancer is striking too many lives in many different forms.  I have done my research on everything possible when I have heard of one of my friends has cancer, the side effects, the symptoms, the treatments and the stages.

My other trip last year was to the emergency room; I was cramping so bad that I couldn’t stand up, this was not the first time this had happened to me; the previous year I also made a trip to the emergency room for the exact same thing, all they did was an ultra sound and some fantastic pain killers and sent me on my way claiming they couldn’t find anything.  One year later I had the same symptoms and made my second trip.  This time it was bad, without going into disgusting details I basically thought I was dying,  no  exaggeration.

So here I was in the ER, with an IV bag.  They inflated my bladder so they could take an internal ultrasound; I feel bad for anyone who has ever had to have a catheter (sp) OUCH!  After protesting getting it put in, three hours later and feeling absolutely nauseated from the procedure I finally made it through, nope it wasn’t that bad.   Come to find out that I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome).

PSOC or twisted ovaries (which is the painful part) is something I have to keep a close eye on.  My aunt just finished chemotherapy for Endometrian Cancer; a form of cancer which you can obtain by not having children.  I am 36 and currently do not have children.   With this PCOS I am most likely not going to have children unless I get treated, this is devastating news for me as I want children of my own.  Financially there is no way I could adopt in these times.

I have all the signs and symptoms which leads me to believe that my status is getting worse by the year the older I get – I am hoping to be able to turn this around.

If there is anything I have learned in these past few years it is to make sure you know your family’s medical history.  It’s not something I looked forward to and the list on my dads side of the family is long – Cancer and heart diseases, lots of it.  Most importantly reproductive cancers for me, I wish that is one trait I didn’t receive from my fathers side of the family.  There is no resentment at all, don’t get me wrong but I have to keep a close eye on myself (reproductively speaking). 

My next blog (or two) will be about cancer and the infiltration into so many people’s lives that I know and care about.

Could you imagine if Bush told America that he wanted the NCAA D1 football program to have a championship playoff and get rid of the BCS? We would never hear the end of it from countless media sources and those who oppose him.    Seriously, do we not have anything better to do in Congress?   I can almost imagine it now, this piece of legislation gets pushed through at the end of the week and our “elected” congressmen and women will take a month off for Christmas break.  I don’t remember voting for my congressmen because he was going to force the NCAA to change their system of playoffs.

Fact is, the BCS has at least another three years signed on, it’s a HUGE money maker and nothing can be changed until then so why is it so important to ‘force’ it now?    Don’t get me wrong, I would love to see a playoff system but our economy is in shambles and has been for over a year, we are still involved in a war in which Obama said he’d bring our troops home right away but instead he’s sending 30,000 more, unemployment, health care.  Don’t our politicians have enough on their plate? Is this what they want on their resume of “accomplishments” for the year 2009?

Nothing  has really changed for the better; it’s been almost a year since Obama has been in office – it’s time to stop blaming Bush, like the Clintonites wanted us to stop blaming them when Bush was in office and hold Obama accountable for the here and now.   He’s made countless appearances on tv shows, he’s done much traveling to other countries; I don’t mind that because he needs to get to know leaders of other countries to form solid relationships but I haven’t heard of anything he’s accomplished while in office.  It’s just one big media circus and the press absolutely loves him!

One other thing, I would like to know why he received the Nobel Peace Prize for 2009 – if it is based on recongition of achieving peace I am curious to know what he’s done to further the peace process while sending another 30,000 troops to Afghanistan.    If you read the latest article on Yahoo (link below) wouldn’t you say this is an oxymoron?   “Obama defends US wars as he accepts peace prize”

 http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091210/ap_on_re_eu/eu_obama_nobel